What's A Grape To Do???

"Whine" in Your Future!!

Golda: Gertrude, who's that Guy with the "cutters"?

Gertrude: Stop hollering...your screaming in my ear!

Gail: No problem, girls...we are just hanging out here in the sun...Ahhhhhhh...

Gigi: I'll just pull some leaves down over us... He'll never notice us. And the cart is almost full anyway. Relax, girls. Gladys and Grace you keep a lookout both ways.

[Ginger and Gloria never see the skillful, swift hand. No one feels the snip. Not until their bunch is in the harvest tub rolling down the vineyard aisle.]

Golda (screeches): Help, I am upside down in the tub!

Gertrude: Shhhhh.... We're all OK. Hey girls, it could be worse... we're not bruised, were not on the ground getting run over... Shhhhh Greta, it really wasn't Gladys' and Grace's fault.

Golda (panicking): I hear something! What's that hum? Don't you hear it? What's happening?

Gail: Relax, Golda. No problem. It's just a conveyor belt. Smoooooth ride... See, this isn't so bad!!

Gina, Ginny, & Gabby: I don't know about this... I want to be back on the vine... I don't think this is what it seems... There's a sign up ahead... Gertrude can you see what it says?

Gertrude: Well, ladies... Ummmm, it says "Please remove all jewelry."

[Dead Silence except for hummmm, hummmm...]

Gertrude: Well, I hate to tell you this ladies, but there's another sign up ahead.

Gila, Gwen, Gina, Ginny, Gabby, & Greta: I knew it...!! I knew it...!! This can't be good!!

[Loud-SPEAKER]: "It's conversion time...time to make a decision... All wine grapes to the right... All raisin grapes to the left... Time to make a decision... All wine grapes to the right... All raisin grapes to the left...

[Silence in the Bunch]

Chorus of voices: Which way do we go? What do we do? How do I get off... I want to go back! This ain't fair! I don't like this! We are gonna get crushed! We are all going to die!!

Gertrude: If you want to save your skin, you've got to go left into the hot, drying sun and become a raisin.

Gertrude: As for me, I choose to go right, into the Hand of the Master Vintner.

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Many Months later... at Chateau Groom

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Gertrude the Grape, Vintage 2010 (reflecting on her journey of becoming wine...):

So many things I didn't understand, and so many things that were rather terrifying, certainly surprising after the tender care of life in the vineyard. The sun, the good soil, the rains... You knew exactly the best conditions... You knew exactly the right time for the harvest. But none of us knew that the only way to make wine was for the grape, me, to be crushed! While moving down that conveyor belt to the crusher, I was tempted to go left and become a raisin! Were You rejoicing or grieving over each grape going to the crusher? It was so lonely as a single grape, but now I understand You couldn't make Wine from one grape, no matter how plump and sweet! We went into the crusher as single grapes, and came out, the juice, all flowing together to become Your Wine. Strange how the grapes that chose to be raisins always remain single. We lost our "skins", but the best parts all flowed together into your Vats to become Wine.

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The Master WineMaker: The Year 2010 is a wonderful Vintage, Gertrude. So let the Feasting begin...!!